I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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