The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
