But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
