So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
