Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
