he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize