i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
