the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
