Duck Duck Cougar?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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