I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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