I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
