on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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