dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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