Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
