You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
