I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
