Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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