Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
FUCK WHALES
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
