i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
