Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
