Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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