just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
