It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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