Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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