Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I need a beard to bite.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
