i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
