People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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