So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
