Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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