Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
