New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
