Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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