Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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