I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
