I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
