I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize