so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
