Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize