I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
