that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize