do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
