So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
