Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
