Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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