I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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