one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
