why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
