I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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