I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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