I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
