no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
